Stepmom insists 27-year-old stepson call her “Bonus Mom,” dad gets involved when he refuses and sets healthy boundaries: “It makes her happy, just do it”

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Jun 5, 2025 1:00 PM EDT

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen of the internet. We tacitly agree to a lot on the day-to-day that we may not even notice is bothering us. Whether it be the way someone treats you, talks to you, or certain underlying dynamics that you suddenly snap and realize feel disrespectful. For example, your friend may be making comments to you that feel all too personal. You may feel used in a romantic relationship, or that your partner doesn't appreciate you. It may feel one sided. Maybe a coworker is constantly harping on you doing a bad job when you know in fact you're not, but it can take time to even realize the stress were under until we stop and think about it deeply. 


In the story below, the protagonist is a grown man whose stepmother insists on being called a certain cringy nickname. The thing isn't only that it makes him very uncomfortable, it's also that he's an adult and doesn't need to adhere to those kinds of rules. Read the full story below for all the juicy details. 

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  • 01

    AITAH for not wanting to call my stepmom my “Bonus-Mom?”

    "You're 27, you can call her Mary Poppins if it makes you happy"
    via Wavebreakmedia from Getty Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    27M, I am the oldest of 3 kids. My two sisters are 21F and 23F. Our parents got divorced in 2010, and my dad remarried in 2017. We like our stepmom overall. She's nice
    via u/StarWarsTrey

  • “Bonus Mom” feels like a slap in the face to someone whose parents are divorced. It's like trying to romanticize or glamorize the trauma of divorced parents, broken homes, and having to integrate a completely new family into your own. These people are delusional.  

  • 03
    and caring. In 2019 when one of my sisters graduated high school, my step mom went to her graduation and introduced herself as our "Bonus Mom."
    via u/StarWarsTrey
  • 04
    Ever since then, my sisters and I have NOT liked the name. And it's nothing against her, we just don't have a bonus mom. We have a
    via u/StarWarsTrey
  • 05
    Cheezburger Image 10513005312
    via ElenaNichizhenova from Getty Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 06
    mother, a father, and two step- parents. Which is fine! However, our dad insists that she be called "Bonus Mom."
    via u/StarWarsTrey
  • 07
    Every time I bring it up, our dad says it "makes her happy" and to just do it. However, I've been in therapy recently and one of the things I've learned is to set
    via u/StarWarsTrey
  • 08
    boundaries. This is clearly something I am uncomfortable with (as well as my sisters). I've explained it to him a few times now and he just gives the same answer.
    via u/StarWarsTrey
  • 09
    I'd understand more if my sister and I were children maybe, but we are grown adults.
    via u/StarWarsTrey
  • 10
    So, am I the a h_le for refusing to call my stepmom my "Bonus Mom?"
    via u/StarWarsTrey
  • 11
    lapsteelguitar • 10h ago You need to talk with the both of them, together. "I'm an adult, you came into my my life as an adult. I have no
    via u/lapsteelguitar
  • 12
    issues with you, but you are not my bonus-mom. You are my dads wife." That should do it. NTA
    via u/lapsteelguitar
  • 13
    Srvntgrrl_789 • 10h ago NTA. You could call her by her first name. That's respectful, and since you're an adult, you
    via u/Srvntgrrl_789
  • 14
    don't need to call her bonus mom, since she didn't raise you from the time you were a toddler.
    via u/Srvntgrrl_789
  • 15
    ArmyGuyinSunland ⚫ 10h ago You're 27 dude. You can call her Mary poppins if it makes you happy.
    via u/ArmyGuyinSunland
  • 16
    jersey8894 10h ago NTA...My 2 daughters I gained my marriage refer to me as their bonus mom but that was all them. I simply asked them
    via u/jersey8894
  • 17
    Cheezburger Image 10513005568
    via ktsimage from Getty Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 18
    to call me by my first name. Your not comfy so you absolutely are not wrong to not call her that!
    via u/jersey8894
  • 19
    DowntownElevator... • 10h ago NTA. You're a grown adult
    via u/DowntownElevator5845
  • 20
    shyfidelity ⚫ 10h ago NTA. She can call herself a bonus parent or whatever, but you can refer to her as your
    via u/shyfidelity
  • 21
    step-mom. I'd probably weigh how much this mattered to me before making it a big issue
    via u/shyfidelity
  • 22
    Ok_Conversation9750 • 10h ago NTA and frankly I'd be ped. at being treated like a child. Ask him how he'd feel about being called "consolation prize dad."
    via u/Ok_Conversation9750
  • 23
    KellyM14 • 10h ago NTA your dad and stepmom should've let you and your siblings decide what you felt comfortable calling her. You're dads being ridiculously absurd
    via u/KellyM14

Tags

family drama drama toxic stepmom family feud relationships lol love family reddit thread Reddit funny dating entitled people
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